END OF SEASON: GMAN WINS!!!

And so, the end is near… Actually, that’s the opening sentence of the last three posts I didn’t write! Sorry fantasy fans!

So without further ado, congratulations to the 2017/18 Fray Bentos Champion… GARY CHAPMAN! Gary Chapman, Manager of GFC(C), is currently residing in Macau for tax purposes and to escape the clutches of a shadowy Colombian Drug Cartel, but he was able to send us this picture…

Well played Cuz, well played. With 5 weeks to go Gary was embroiled in an epic battle with Trevor Garrett’s Penfold Patriots, but in the end Gary pulled himself off and was able to whizz over the line. Nice.

Third place went to Mr Donkin’s Wellesley Wanderers, cementing a very fine year indeed. Sterling work.

Rounding out the top 5 were John Chapman’s AC Persiceto – who were the form team in the final weeks and, according to an anonymous source in Italy, would DEFINITELY have finished third if the season was two weeks longer – and Thomas Ashman’s Bench Warmers FC. A mixed season for the Bench Warmers, leading the way for a long time, then plummeting like a stone only for a late rally at the end. Off the pitch, it was impressive to see how the birth of his firstborn had no impact on the time Tom was able to devote to Fantasy Football. Parenting goals.

And at the other end of the table, an incredible story. Having been bottom of the table since approximately… *checks records* the dawn of time, Raymond Smith’s Alasdairs Army scored 75 points to RISE to 37th, outscoring Ricko Lambertmontino’s Un Paquet A 40 Avec by 18 points for the week and 9 points overall. Huge congrats to Raymond, but commiserations to Ricko.

With that out of the way, who fancies some stats? Yes yes Hopey, we know you do. I mean who else? All of you? Good.

END OF SEASON AWARDS (in collaboration with Matt O’Reilly)

• • GOLDEN BOOT: Gary Chapman and ADAM GENT (120 goals scored over season)
  • LEAST TEENAGE:  Andy Dawkins (71 clean sheets)
  • LOADSAMONEY: Gary Chapman (final squad value of 105.3m)
  • FLOOSY: John Chapman (95 unique players used)
  • TIGHTWAD(S): Andy Dawkins, Steve Morgan, Mac McNicoll and Scott Grierson spent ZERO points on transfers
  • TOP CAP: Ian Waller (608 points scored by his choice of Captains)
  • PYRRHIC VICTORY: Paul Hope (332 points left on the bench in total)
  • KEEPER SWEEPER: Paul Hope (197 points scored by Keepers)
  • DEFENSIVE ROCK: Kerstin Muller (556 points scored by Defenders)
  • MIDFIELD MAESTRO: Mr Donkin (943 points scored by Midfielders)
  • FORWARD THINKER: Gary Baker (554 points scored by Forwards)
  • WORKSHY FOP: Raymond Smith (31,038 minutes worth of Players being on the pitch, the least in the league)
  • GOALSHY FLOP: Ricko Lambermontino (57 goals scored)
  • PASS ARTIST: Mr Donkin and Gary Chapman
  • YELLOW PERIL: Donovan Lambert (64 Yellow cards)
  • SHRINKING VIOLET: Mac McNicoll (28 Yellow cards)
  • DIRTY BASTARD: Trevor Garrett (4 Red cards)
  • BRUCIE BONUS: John Chapman (210 bonus points earned)

Matt O’Reilly of Draxler Utd has also done some digging and came up with this interesting take on second place Trevor Garrett:

Basically, there’s no way Penfolds Patriots should have finished second. They had:

• A lower number of GW transfers than all but one other person in the top 10 and were 13 under the average number of transfers for the top 10.
• They had the lowest value team of any in the top 10
• They were 20^th in goals scored
• Topped the red cards received (4)

BUT

• Second for clean sheets
• Second for most captain points

Thanks for that Stato!

And so that’s it for another season. It’s been fun. I don’t know if I’ll repeat the blog attempt next year, it got a real slog towards the end. But thanks to those who helped out, much appreciated. Maybe I can share the load a little more next season, never been a great delegater.

There are plans afoot to watch a World Cup game in a central London location with a couple of other managers, will post a quick invite on here once the dates are confirmed, all Fray Bentosians in the vacinity are welcome.

I’m also wondering whether 37 in the league is a bit unwieldy, and whether we need a Fray Bentos League 1 and League 2? But probably a ball ache to arrange. Thoughts (in the comments) welcome,

Oh, and where did the amazing amount of stats come from? Another find from Matt O’Reilly, check em out for yourself: https://fplmystats.com/league/92175/

And that really is it. Really.

 

 

 

 

GW33: GFC and Patriots get Topsy Turvy

Gameweek 33 was a relatively low scoring week, so hat tip to hitherto unheralded Kirst’s Killers, led by Kerstin Muller. Muller’s high scorers were Vardy, Azpiliqwerty and Cork, combining to 37 of the total 59. A distant but still creditable second was Alasdair’s Army, whose 48 points saw Raymond Conley-Smith rise from a bottom of the league to… well, it was a good score.

Third highest of the week was 47 points and was scored by Trevor Garret’s Penfolds Patriots, meaning YET AGAIN the league leadership changed hands. Barring a Roma style comeback it’s a two horser race for the title this season, with Gary Chapman’s GFC now 4 points behind. Will this weeks double fixtures prove decisive? I have no idea, but it’s less likely that just 6 points will separate the top two as this week.

40 odd points below the top two, there is another two horse race as 2nd by Christmas and Wellesley Wanderers battle it out for 3rd place. 3 points the difference in scores this week mean Andrew Donkin’s WW are 3 points ahead of 2nd BC. It’s a nail-biter!

And another 30/40 points below those two reprobates it’s a large field of mediocrity battling it out for the Europa league position. Wallers 1’s to Watch currently hold 5th, but there are 4 or even 5 below who could conceivably snatch it.

Back in the real world, there is more interest in the league than there has been for a while. As Liverpool progress in the Champs League at the expense of Oil Money City, a game that tragically somebody had to win, what does this mean in terms of game time for star man Mo Salah, or Firmino? Paul Pogba appears to have finally found a hair stylist he is happy with and is back playing football, could be upset the apple cart with some dazzling performances? And Danny Welbeck has re-appeared! Some interesting options with not one but two double gameweeks coming up.

Anyway, transfer deadline is in 22 minutes, so I’ll post this now in case anyone has forgotten, and to be honest I have little else to say.

Good luck managers!

GW31: Mo Better, Blues top score

Well, so much for a quiet four-match Gameweek 31! Having expected some lowish scores, with perhaps some interest coming from the difference between the Free Hitters and the non-Free Hitters, we were instead served up with a Points Feast! And who was serving up the Goal main course, with a side helping of Assist and a Bonus Points jus? Firmino! No, of course not, MO SALAH!

Seriously, the guy is incredible. He’s the best player to be flogged by Chelsea for being rubbish since Kevin De Bruyne. Top points scorer ever in this Fantasy Competition I believe (citation needed) and he still has 7 games to go!

Huddersfields Stephen Mounie, accompanied by his WAG.

Unsurprisingly, Big Mo (what? Fellaini? – Ed) featured hugely in the league this week. 19 of the top 20 (I stopped counting after that) had Mo in the team, 15 of that 19 had him as Captain. Of the 4 who had Mo but Captained someone else, perhaps most gutted was last weeks’ #1 Gary Chapman of GFC © fame. Gary had Mo in the side but bravely – some would say mind-bendingly stupidly – captained a bloke I haven’t heard of, Mounie, of – I think – Huddersfield. Fair play, apparently Mounie had good shots per game stats coming into the game, but this is a gamble that did not pay off. In fact, as a gamble it failed so badly that it’d be no surprise to see Gary having to stump up £10bn to the DUP just to preserve his first place. But Gary doesn’t have £10bn. Still, Gary can be relieved in a way, as though his decision may have cost him top spot, he only scored 9 points less than new leader Trevor Garrett of Penfolds Patriots.

That said, Gary’s 63 points came from 9 players, Trevor’s 72 points came from 4!!!

Another leading team regretting not captaining Mo was Tom Ashman’s Bench Warmers FC, dropping down to 5^th. Filling out the top 5, Andy Dawkins 2^nd by Christmas are set to be 3^rd by Easter and Andy Donkins Wellesley Wanderers remain 4^th, having scored a decent 80 points while also splurging out 20 points worth on transfers. Has Donkin pulled off the masterstroke that will propel him to victory? Time will tell.

Again looking just at the top 20, 9 players played their Free Hits card (unlimited transfers, then your team reverts back to how it was the week before). Of these teams, Adam Gent and his False Flag Blues can feel proud of their work, top scoring for the week with a huge 113 points. And even more impressive, Nick Gauntlett and his Grunties managed 110 points without a Free Hit or any other performance enhancing substance (if you ignore the Cocaine laced with Viagra that Nick snorts through a used £50 every hour on the hour).

And who was the one team in the top 20 who didn’t have Mo Salah you ask? Why it’s 20^th placed The English, one of two teams in the league who have a strict entry policy. In the case of The English it is players who like Sausage and Eggs for breakfast… actually, no, it’s players who are English. So no mystery that Mo ain’t there, but perhaps more of a mystery how a team with that severe a handicap got to 20^th in the first place.

And the other team with a strict entry policy? Why that’s Pats Nice Boys of course! Pats Alcantara makes no apologies for only having ‘nice boys’ in his team, although eyebrows were raised when somehow Harry Kane got a pass given he bears more than a passing resemblance to the Gold Cup winner at Cheltenham. Pat interestingly chose to play his Wildcard this week, and looking at the players he’s chosen I can only assume that they are VERY good looking indeed, there can be no other explanation. Sorry Pat – tough love from IT Paul.

But Pat didn’t come bottom this week. This ‘honour’ went to a team who last week were being feted for their March form. But was it the kiss of death? This week the annoyingly named Dilettante Donkeys could only manage 10 points for their manager, which is roughly 30% of what Salah scored alone. After his strong run, was Donovan Lambert paid to take a dive by a shady east Asian betting syndicate? Questions to answer.

Glenn Hoddle, England

Last and, for the time being, least, signs of life from Raymond Conley-Smith and Alasdairs Army. After months of seeming inactivity, Raymond has leapt into action and has now made 3 transfers since February! And it’s paying dividends. In have come Tottenham’s Davies, Swansea’s Fabiwotsit and Liverpool’s Robertson, out have gone Glen Hoddle, Graeme Sounness and Bert Trautmann. The resulting 81 points this week means Raymond is now just 75 points off second bottom, too little too late? Stranger things have happened*.

That’s it. A longer update than planned, but god knows I owed this blog some love and attention. Keep your comments coming in, lots of fun to come, including some double gameweeks what with cup competitions etc. All to play for.

Up the Bentos!

*No, they haven’t.