And so another season comes to an end, or rather it did over a week ago. And congratulations to Manchester City, everyone’s favourite underdogs, who retained the title despite the close attentions of Jurgen and the boys.
But more to the point, congratulations to Sam Raymond and Sarri not Sarri who has won the increasingly congested Fray Bentos league. With a field just one short of 50 players, Sam won by just two points in the end from old Gruntfuttock himself, Nick Gauntlett.
Taking bronze were the Tankerton Gills, led by Paul Hope who not only picked up a medal but scooped up the bragging rights over Christmas Dinner with his son Matt of Don’t Watch that FC finishing 10th. Still a commendable finish Matt in a league of this quality.
Warnock Wonders finished 4th for Steve Morgan, considerably better than Warnock himself managed in real life sadly, and Steve must be in consideration for the Cardiff gig should it come loose from the scrum. Debutant Aaran Scott and Scottys Scalpers finished 5th ahead of Fantasy Pro Gary Bakerville and Fray Bentosian veteran Kirt Hunte’s Soca Warriors.
A disappointing climax saw Jon Exon-Valdeez’s The Midwives finish in 8th after leading for much of the season. Can there be a disappointing climax? I’m with Woody Allen in Manhattan, ‘I’ve never had the wrong kind, ever. My worst one was right on the money.’
Rounding out the top ten was Keith Lambert’s The Lamb in 9th, a disappointing season by his lofty standards, and the aforementioned Matt Hope in 10th.
Agonisingly close but no cigar in 11th, 12th and 13th were my step-bruv Bench Warmers FC, my dad AC Persiceto and me. No excuses, not good enough.
To pick out a few more names, congrats to Heisenberg led by Philip Alcantara for winning the inaugural Alcantara-inter-Fray-Bentos-MiniLeague. And to LUCABURGERBUM for winning the under 12s Age category. Apologies if anyone unknown to me who finished between 1st and 26th is also actually under 12. Finishing just behind LUCABURGERBUM – which is an unfortunately place to be – was top finishing woman Sue O’Reilly and Sue’s Saints who, despite being in her debut season, finished over 30 points clear of her no good son Matt OReilly and his Draxler Utd. There’s always Fantasy Rugby League Matt.
I don’t usually like to mention the wooden spoon positions, but kudos this year to Ricko and Donovan who – unless I am much mistaken – have made it a Lambert family 1-2 at the bottom of the table this year.
That’s enough from me. Well done again to Sam Raymond, whoever you are. If anyone reading this knows Sam please let him know about the blog and it would be great to get a comment from him below giving us the secret of his success, his age and the name of the Fray Bentosian who invited him along…
As for the other 48 of you…. there’s always next season.
‘That gobshite again! Is he never off the air!‘ So said Father Jack (from the series Father Ted) about Father Dougal, but he could equally have been referring to me and the frequency of these bloody gameweek reports. Or he could have been talking about
So who top scored this week? Not one of the usual suspects, this week it was James Griffith and the underachievers. And what a top score it was too. In a week where the league average was 47 points, James scored nearly double, 90 points! Impressive stuff. It’s the midfield that stands out, James having 3 of the weeks star performers. De Bruyne, Mane and Salah have all had their moments this season (Salah in particular who is the leagues star performer) but Ashley Young bagging 15 points must have been a particular delight. Nice work from Pickford at the back too, just one of the 18 goalkeepers in the Premiership better than England’s number 1 Joe Hart who let in 4 against Everton.
Continuing that depressing start to the post, Donovan Lamberts Dilettante Donkeys had a shocker this week, the previous league leader getting the lowest score in our league. Against a competition average of 46 points, the Donkey’s managed a mere 28. Superstars such as Alli, Silva, Rashford and Otamendi all flopped. Not even Jesus could save him. To second with you Donovan!
Staying in third place, Andy Dawkin’s Bottom by Christmas also had a poor week. His beloved Spurs lost IRL, and his fantasy team didn’t do much better. Bottom by Christmas managed just 33 points with Captain Otamendi returning Notalotti (double zero is still zero sadly). A possible silver lining, Andy still has Kane in his squad and he may yet bounce Andy back to the top spot before long.
Little change elsewhere in the league given the generally low scores. Struggling towards the bottom, like George Bush Sr behind an actress, Alison Breakwell’s Raised by Wolves disappointingly regained the wooden spoon. Alison, like many managers, opted to give Mickey T at United the heave ho and instead bought in Watford wunderkid, Richarlison. Straight into the team, and the captaincy to boot, Richarlison returned the favour to Alison with just 2 points (2×1). A bit Rubbishison.
Fray Bentos 